Wisdom in Dealing with Criticism

Now the Ephraimites asked Gideon, “Why have you treated us like this? Why didn’t you call us when you went to fight Midian?” And they challenged him vigorously.

But he answered them, “What have I accomplished compared to you? Aren’t the gleanings of Ephraim’s grapes better than the full grape harvest of Abiezer? God gave Oreb and Zeeb, the Midianite leaders, into your hands. What was I able to do compared to you?” At this, their resentment against him subsided. (Judges 8:1-3)

One of the greatest challenges in life is getting on well with other people. Especially in the church, and our family, we realise do not get to choose with whom we rub shoulders. Proverbs 27:17 says As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. We so often may see the failings in others before we see them in ourselves. It is often with those that are closest to us that we seem not to reserve the greatest grace.

What are we do at times of potential conflict? Here in the story of Gideon, we see some wisdom.

1. Wisdom Gives the ability to Overlook Offence

When ‘the Ephraimites asked Gideon… “Why didn’t you call us when you went to fight Midian?” they criticised him sharply’ (8:1).

Gideon could have easily taken offence and defended himself. It is so easy for us to take offence. A general rule for the human heart is this: we hear criticism twice as keenly as encouragement. Often the words that will remain in my heart and mind are negative ones. It is so easy to allow those words to define us, if we do, it will inform how we speak and behave. That is why we should speak encouragingly to one another at least three times more than correction or criticism. This is a discipline that will become a habit that will then become a natural part of who we are.

Proverbs 19:11 says “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offence."

Gideon dealt with this criticism with great charm and tact. Gideon was able to see this was not about him, even though the Ephraimites said it was. Sometimes when we are doing or trying our best we can often be vulnerable to criticism. The best antidote to criticism is seeing the best in others and complimenting them. To be a blessing in the face of negative and possible critical accusations.

2. Wisdom Gives the Ability to Build Others Up

Gideon, He said to them, ‘What have I accomplished compared to you?… What was I able to do compared to you?’ (vv.2–3a). […] ‘At this, their resentment against him subsided’ (v.3b).

On the whole, people want to be valued for what they do. The Ephraimites felt excluded and wanted to be included in God’s plans. This is where their offence lay in being excluded. Everybody wants to be included in the plans of God. Criticism may flow from a person who is feeling underused, undervalued or even misunderstood.

Sometimes, I forget the wisdom of this example. I respond to criticism in the wrong way. We can easily be experts at taking took offence where there was none to be given! Gideon’s wisdom meant he could respond differently.

Proverbs 15:1-2, 4 says A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly […]The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

But I have been struck by how often, if we go to people and say, ‘I need your help’ (in effect, ‘what have I accomplished compared to you?’), their criticism subsides.

Once the Ephraimites realised that Gideon valued them and rated them highly, their criticism subsided. The good news is God wants everyone to be included in his plans. It is wonderful to bring others along with you in the plans of God and to see them shine.

May God give you the wisdom to overlook an offence and be a blessing to others.

Blessings

Fraser